Many children go through phases of shyness, especially in new situations or around unfamiliar people. But for some, shyness can be extreme and debilitating, hindering their ability to interact, make friends, and participate in school and activities. If your child’s shyness is persistent and prevents them from having normal social experiences, there are steps you can take to help.
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First, try to understand the roots of your child’s shyness. Some children are naturally disposed to being shy. Traits like sensitivity, perceptiveness, and a slower pace in adjusting to new situations can make social interaction uncomfortable. Shyness can also stem from anxiety, lack of confidence, previous rejection, or stressful experiences like bullying. Pinpointing the potential causes will allow you to address shyness effectively.
Don’t throw your child into situations they aren’t ready for. Gradually expose them to social situations, starting with low-pressure interactions. Have one or two friends over to play, instead of a big party. Volunteer to read a book out loud when there are just a couple of classmates present. Slowly increase the social demands, but don’t move too fast or force too much too soon. Success will build confidence.
Practicing social skills ahead of time can make new situations less intimidating if you are fostering a shy child with an agency like Orange Grove Foster Care. Role play introductions, handshakes, starting conversations, and good eye contact. Model polite language and manners. Provide feedback in a gentle, constructive way. Make it fun by allowing your child to role play the parent, teacher or peer. Practicing ahead of time will give your child the tools to interact with poise.
Notice activities where your child already exhibits confidence and ability. Maybe they love to draw, sing or dance. Nurture these strengths to continue boosting self-esteem. Enrol them in supportive art or performance groups where they can continue pursuing passions. Surround them with other children who share these interests and abilities. Success will breed further success.
Pay attention to which other children your child or foster child interacts with most comfortably. Seek out more children with similar dispositions, interests, and temperaments. Gently encourage your child to play with classrooms peers who are also on the shyer side. They may find friendship and safety in numbers. Recommend inviting just one friend over, instead of a group, for lower-pressure social time.
If your child’s shyness persists and continues to interfere with their daily life, don’t hesitate to seek support from your GP. A referral to CAMHS can provide targeted recommendations. Counselling can help address underlying fears, anxiety or past experiences contributing to shyness. For extreme shyness or social anxiety that affects school performance, medication may be an option in addition to therapy and coping strategies. With the right support, your child can overcome their shyness and gain social confidence.
With patience and support focused on your child’s unique needs, their social skills and confidence will gradually improve. Don’t forget to celebrate small victories. Each new interaction, conversation and connection is a step forward.
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